Dress the Part

I pulled my hair into a low bun putting each hair into place. Today I AM the teacher I silently repeat to myself! Today is the practicum. I gather my handouts, and markers and put them into my “teacher” purse! I take one last approving look in the mirror and nod to myself. My roommate junior year, Kelly, would always tell me dress the part! “Doesn’t matter your performance on the test as long as you look good doing it” she would joke lightening the moment with her joyful personality! I laugh at this memory as her words roll across my mind this morning. I want to be a teacher this year- so I need to dress the part! Even if I completely blow my practicum, I will at least look like a teacher doing it!!

I walk out trying to still my nerves that were not here last night. Last night I walked through my lesson plan easily with a few teammates and questioned why everyone was making such a big deal about the 25 minutes mock class. Today I understand their nerves. I’m not nervous about standing in front of my peers and performing because I have always loved performing for others. It’s a part of my personality! The nerves come from the reality of this year. Each day I am responsible for the education of Chinese students of the English language!! Ay yi yi yi…. Today is the first morning I begin this journey of development as a teacher. I walk into the class where ten of my peers sit running through their lesson plans one last time. We begin joking around about the Practicum trying to forget the butterflies in our stomachs. The leader who will be critiquing us walks in and so does my team leader! I was not prepared for this! What was he doing in here?! I begin to panic a little bit. He announces that he will sit in to hear the lessons of my two teammates and I. I pray I won’t be up first. Thankfully, my teammate Emily volunteers! Her presentation and lesson plan goes smoothly. I gain confidence from her ability to casually and confidently work her way through her lesson plan. But then, I had no choice- I was picked to go next. I walk to the front- tape up my poster and write three sentence structures on the whiteboard. For the 25 minute Practicum, I adapted my first day’s lesson plan into a modified version. I greet the class with enthusiasm ignoring my uneasiness at controlling a classroom where just four months ago I was assuming the role of student! When you graduate from college, life can change so quickly! And the Father’s plan for me (here teaching) is so far from my own initial plans. Thank goodness he knows me better than I know myself! Anyways, I continue working through my lesson plan. I have a poster with the outline of a T-shirt displaying ten pictures or words inside of the T-shirt outline describing something about me. I ask the students to pick one of the pictures or words and guess what it means. One “student” asks, “ what is that orange lounge chair teacher?” I laugh embarrassed- the student had pointed out my lame attempt at drawing California. Apparently my artistic skills are limited when it comes to geography! I handle the situation well and press on with the lesson. The “students” (my peers) begin to become rowdy when minutes before they were angels for Emily! I begin to literally sweat as if I’m on the hot spot! I could not believe they were testing me like this- asking me the most ridiculous questions and making it difficult to keep them on task. I handle it well (so I was told later), and in the end I was thankful for their challenging behavior. It is a strong possibility that I might have some students that ask questions off topic like “does Teacher have a boyfriend”. I need to maintain the mentality: I AM THE TEACHER!! I make it through to the end of my lesson plan with success. I sit down and smile. I truly enjoyed teaching my lesson plan, walking around to check for comprehension on my directions, and sharing my language with these “pretend” students. So often we take for granted our own culture and language. Needless to say, my nerves settled and I enjoyed being THE teacher! I have even more excitement as I look forward to the first classes where I meet each of my students! It’s amazing how much love you can have for people you have never met before! The Father is cultivating a love and compassion for my students. And although not everyday will be smooth and enjoyable- I am in love with the idea of simply pouring love into the lives of people that need it. Yesterday we learned about the GAOCAO. The GAOCAO is THE test in the education system for Chinese students. A student’s GAOCAO score determines everything. Every aspect of education is geared toward preparing the student for this exam- this one day of life. The score a student receives will determine their college placement and major!! Could you imagine your education being determinant of the rest of your life?! The college they get into and the major they study determines what type of job they get. There is either honor or shame that comes from this one day in their educational history. Knowing the value the culture places on testing and scores, I am excited to show a different type of value: unconditional love. I want to share the Hope I have that comes from a love independent from any condition, merit, or effort. I am loved for something I had no part in: the blood of a Lamb whose way was perfect! Tomorrow is our last day of class- PTL! We are planning to attend an Acrobat Show tomorrow night with more training this weekend! I am so excited to move forward from this month of training in Beijing! Next Monday or Tuesday we will be moving to our permanent placements- my team will be making the 8 hour trek up north to Changchun! I cannot wait to “nest” (I’ve been calling it). To “nest” is to receive a house and make it a home- decorate, put my suitcases away and have personal space that is simply my own to be in. I can’t believe how quickly time is going here but I pray for slow moments as I learn more about my Father and His purpose in bringing me here! I am lifting you all up during this transitional season of summer ending and fall beginning!!