On Monday, I had two morning classes to teach. Everything went as it usually does; except, recently, I have found that my students (after spending as many months with me) have discovered that I'm quite a "softie". I never really appreciated "strictness" in a classroom setting as a student, and well this seems to play out in my classroom management! I have this personality flaw of wanting everyone to like me....so this combined with the cherry on top of how much love I have for my 'precious', 'innocent' 'baby-freshman' students leaves me as the teacher who wants to have fun in class, while still being a fruitful teacher! Unfortunately, they have been abusing my love for them as I have had difficulty in maintaining a somewhat normal class volume level, and I often find my voice rising to a really annoying pitch (even to myself) as I attempt to yell over their chit-chat. So after the past few faculty meetings, what have I decided to do?! You got it! I have decided a little fear is needed... my goal this week: strike the fear back into my little freshies' minds and hearts- that Miss Cottoniah is NOT all smiles, laughter, fun and games! But, serious, and academically minded! So what were my battle plans you might ask? TEST! hahaha! Oh ya... I wrote a pretty basic and (in my opinion) simple test on the grammar structures and vocabulary we have been learning the past 8 weeks! BUT, my fear tactic was NOT in the test alone... nope it was in the way I announced the test!
Monday morning I walk into class. I tell my students move your desks away from your partners... with odd glances, they obey. Then, I say, "move everything off of your desk, you will not need paper". Beautiful. Now, they begin to panic.. but mind you, I gave them a warning last week so don't be feeling to bad for them yet ;) Then, I explain they will have a test. They groan- I explain my no-cheating policy. (fyi: in China it is VERY cultural to help friends out (it's the whole guanxi/friendship thing)... so if a friend needs help answering a test question- they no doubt will cheat. So, I tell my students, if I catch you cheating in anyway- I will take your paper and give you a zero... And this is when BOTH monday classes actually laughed at me!! THEY LAUGHED AT ME! Geezeee... that just shows you right there I was in desperate need to regain some "seriousness" within the classroom! I stopped them mid-laughter, I said, "no... this is NOT funny, this is NOT a joke" (all the while trying desperately hard to fight the smile creeping into my face)... the whole class caught my drift... the laughter died to "ohahhhhhhhhh" BAM! FEAR! :) Unfortunately, I did catch four students cheating. It nearly broke my heart taking their tests, and (between you and me) a war waged inside my mind on whether or not to actually follow through with my rule- but I knew it was my duty as the teacher. You cannot claim a rule and then look the other way! So, I must fail these students! Bummer... but now I have brought back down the classroom volume and encouraged more attention to lessons through my great fear tactic!
While I had great ambition for class monday, I had a unique experience during my lunch period. Both of my classes that morning gave me notice about a lunch competition they would have later that day. They were to compete in a "tug-a-war" competition against other classes in their department. I thought maybe they just had the wrong English word, because surely university students would not be caught playing a random game of tug-a-war during a regular school day at lunch. But, sure enough, China has a few more surprises up it's sleeves in the last few months here! In lei of my students' wishes, I chose to quickly run out there to cheer them on in their competitions. Several of my classes won, but the two Monday classes I went to watch, I was literally knocked off my rocker in the sight my senses took in! First of all, I was running late (literally running) to the back of the building to make it to the competition. But before I turn the corner, I hear the loudest cheering of my life, "Yi, er... yi, er"!!!
Of course, in Chinese, these two words are "one, two", "one, two"! Thinking I'm late, I sprint around the corner in my skirt and sure enough my students are tugging on a rope and their classmates not holding on the rope are yelling at the top of their lungs! "Jai-yo!" Which translates to "add oil" but is used to cheer people on when they are competing! So, in the chaos of multiple tug-a-war competitions going on, I find one class in particular and go to stand next to their side of the line. I take in the absolute chaos of the situation and I found myself giggling to myself... I mean let's just think for a second on this... what is my life?! I'm in the middle of the Northeast of China, in a parking lot, watching students that I teach compete in a tug-a-war competition!! Okay... whew, glad we got to talk about that little fact :) So... as I'm surveying this scene, I see one of my girl's, Bambi, pulling hard on the rope (and this girl is all of like two pounds heavy)... then I see Michael, Bambi's boyfriend, yelling in her face for her to pull, pull, pull! He was screaming, jumping up and down... and the funny thing is the kid isn't even in her class!! He's in another English class! Oh, love! Gotta enjoy it when you see it in your little Chinese students! So, this class won both of their competitions and we celebrated together! It was quite a kick to watch! Definitely not going to be forgetting that memory for awhile :)
Apart from crazy tug-a-war competitions, I have been processing a lot of things emotional, mentally, and spiritually. I have exactly 8 weeks left until I will be on my way returning to the US- a place I called home for 22 years, but has become distant as I've lived here the past 9 months. I have thoughts of transitioning... I have fears that try to creep into my heart and feed me lies... I have panic about not seeing my beautiful Chinese students again, who have unknowingly to me, stolen my heart. How do you move on from a year that has so radically changed you... a place that has not left one inch of you untouched, and has transformed who you are forever? These are things/questions/musings I have been mulling over this past week. There is much to be said and done here, still. I am not quite in the last "sprint" of the race in my time here in China, but it will come quicker than I feel I can prepare for... so I ask myself, how does one move on from such an incredibly life-altering year? As I ask myself this question, I think of but one thing: pray. I need to spend time in thought with the Father.... asking for patience as I prepare to talk with people who will ask me about my "trip", when my gut reaction is anger at the word "trip"- as if it was a short period of time, a vacation, a small and painless venture; or asking for wisdom and protection as I come home to many things that once plagued me, but because of my current location, have not plagued the past year; or asking for grace, as I find a way to fit back into others' lives and they find a way to understand/relate to the year I have had. These are concerns and worries of mine that I find daily reminders of how I will only find relief at the foot of the cross. Surely, the One who was capable of paving a way for me to come to this place and thrive, will find a way for me to come back and share what He has done in and through me! This summer, I look forward to sharing with you all as Paul shared with the brothers and sisters in Jerasulem, "Paul greeted them, and told them in detail what God had done among the Gentiles in his ministry, And when they heard this they praised God" Acts 21:19-20
No comments:
Post a Comment