Thorn in my Flesh

Tonight I lay in bed with a very full belly... but also a very full mind. Tired of the Chinese cuisine, Megan and I choose to find a bit comfort from cooking our own meal. Our first attempt with the gas stoves turned out surprisingly satisfactory! We struck gold at the market on Sunday when we stumbled across Chicken breast! Normally at the meat markets they have whole chickens and various parts I've never heard of-never chicken breast. But, the Father was gracious and we found frozen Chicken breast! We fried it up with butter, a clove of garlic, green bellpeppers and noodles. I was thoroughly impressed with our ability to improvise. I practically inhaled my food!

My full mind comes from a day of introspection and our first team meeting of TIZO. TIZO translates to 'equip' and is our team time of structured fellowship midweek. This week's study was focused on fellowship unity. For the past few years, I have deeply struggled with this aspect of my faith. I have dug deep in studying the Word on unity and branched out toward outside resources, but nothing has been quite able to address the gaping wound I have found regarding institutional community and unity as a body of the like-minded. Personal experience has left me with too many questions, doubts I'd rather not own up too, and pure discouragement. The way the institution of like-minded people looks today could not possible be what our Savior was asking for before His death. We testify and encourage unity from one stage only to fight a brother or sister on another stage over an issue like the sacraments. Why is it that theology is such a divisive aspect of faith? Why? I have been stumbling over this question for about two years now and I am nowhere nearer to an answer as I was when I first began to wonder and question. Often times I believe I will never find out the answer to my questions and must wait to talk to my Savior about it someday face to face. But I am at the least comforted by that fact: someday I will ask him! In some ways I feel this struggle has led me to identify to Paul's thorn in his flesh. Perhaps we all are 'blessed' with a thorn in our side as we endure and run the race set out before us. I mean it is clear in that passage of the Good Book that weakness on our end causes increased power on His end as He provides more and more grace to those wounded by a thorn. Even Paul begged for his thorn to be taken from him, similar to when our Savior asked the Father for the cup to be passed from Him... but as the Savior and Paul both demonstrate, we as 'cross-bearers' have the responsibility to be joyful and delight in circumstances of ANY kind. This is the power and beauty of a grace-filled Father- that we are protected and shielded from His heavenly perspective. Obedience in the midst of suffering is our joy and Heaven is our prize.

The song on my heart today: "When the storm is raging all around me You are the peace that calms
My troubled sea And when the cares of this world Darken my day You are the light that shines And shows me the way Oh, the beauty of Your majesty On the cross You showed Your love for me! Beautiful One Awesome and mighty I'm captured by this love I see Beautiful One Tender and holy Your mercy brings me to my knees It's Your mercy that has made me free Beautiful One
When my sin is all that I can see Your grace remains the shelter that I seek And when my weakness is all I can give Your gentle Spirit gives me strength again And oh, the beauty of Your majesty On the cross You showed Your love for me And I am lifted by Your love to sing! It's Your mercy that has made me free! You're beautiful, my One You're beautiful, my One"