One year ago, this week, I was sitting in a pool over looking the bay in Phucket, Thailand sipping on strawberry-banana smoothies with my Mom and Dad. It was the first time I got to see them since boarding a plane to China seven months earlier. We spent the week lounging around the pool having serious talks about my present and my future. I caught them up on all the Lord had done in my heart since leaving American soil, and I even thought-aloud to them about my dreams for the future.
Two nights ago (this year), my parents came into my room and sat on my bed and spent a good amount of time talking, reflecting on the past year and all that God has done in my life. My dad kept repeating himself with a look of awe on his face: "Court, if someone would have told you five or so years ago when you first were starting college what the next years would look like, you would have said no way!!!" Well, he's right. God has had this incredible knack to create my life's journey with irony and unforeseen twists and turns. So I would like to take a few paragraphs to reflect on what my journey has looked like thus far. I hope it encourages you where you are.... because one of the best ways God can use you is simply by Him writing your story in hopes that you would share what He has done- because each story has the imprint of His Divine seal- full of beauty.
My senior year of college, I had NO idea what to do. I felt unsure of most things in my life- my relationship with the Lord had been shaken, I felt at a loss with the thought of graduation, and I wanted to just get out! I tend to be sporadic with decisions and opportunities, and one day I stumbled across a flyer for teaching English in China. Not really believing I would end up there- I sent in for information. That week I had a 2 hour conversation with one of the organization's reps, and by the end of the convo I felt sold on the idea. However, life shifted back into perspective and I knew there was no way I would really go to China. But one day, after getting in a crazy car accident where I was saved by the grace of God with no damage- I knew my decision had been made for me whether I was onboard or not. God asked me to obey. At the time, I didn't know why obedience meant going to China, or what on earth He was doing in my life. But I knew this much from Sunday school growing up- when God says go- you go! (hello- anyone heard of Jonah?! Who wants to be inside a whale?!)
So with quite a few reservations, and $15,000 to raise in financial support, I was air-bound for Changchun, Jilin, China. I didn't know any person I was going with, and at the time I had committed to one year of teaching which sounded like a LIFETIME to me! But away I went. And this time last year, I still had half my commitment left to fulfill! That is a crazy thought because since returning home from China, in late June, much has happened.
A month after returning, I made another sporadic decision to drive my car east to Texas and attend Dallas Theological Seminary in hopes of getting my Master's in Counseling & Therapy. My first day there, my mom and I were in a Subway getting sandwiches. We were given a divine encounter with a woman, Jody. She chatted with us for awhile and heard about my choice to attend the seminary. She immediately asked what church I would attend. I shrugged telling her I didn't know. She instantly wrote down her number and invited me to her church! Her gentle way of being the body of Christ outside of the building of church drew me in (Christians- how we encounter others in our day to day matters!). I met her and her family for church one Sunday and knew that was where God wanted me to attend and serve. My third Sunday, they were doing a Children's Ministry Teacher recruit, and something told me to sign up. Now for those of you who know me well- you know that children have never been my forte. I was scarred babysitting when I was younger and never really felt like "the girl who just loved little kids". But needless to say, God had called me. I signed up and began teaching 3 & 4 year old class every Sunday morning. Guess God knew He would use this to change my heart toward kids and soften it so much that I kinda get weirdly emotional around them- they now bring out a whole new side to me and the Lord has chipped away molded me from those 5 months teaching 3 & 4 year olds.
While in Texas, I also was set up with a babysitting job every Tuesday night for an incredible Christian family. I FELL IN LOVE WITH THESE GIRLS! There were 4 of them, the youngest was 2. Every Tuesday night, I came over and watched the 2 younger ones, gave them baths and put them to bed. I read bedtime stories, and scratched their backs until they dosed off. They loved me with the purity and wholeheartedness that only children can. Once again, God cultivated change in my heart and matured me more. Leaving those girls back in December was one of the hardest goodbyes I've said. But don't worry, I get to facetime them sometimes :)
Another incredible part of my journey in Texas was working at a Crisis Pregnancy Hotline. I spoke with women, young girls and sometimes young boys about their crisis pregnancies. There was immense heartbreak. I will never forget one call that I took. I was supposed to call her back the next day before her Planned Parenthood appointment. I wasn't able to go to work that day and lined it up for her to talk with a co-worker. Unfortunately I had give my co-worker the wrong number. The next day I worked, I called the right number. The woman informed me she had "taken care of the situation". As I hung up the phone, tears pricked my eyes. I ran to the bathroom and spent awhile in there silently sobbing. I felt responsible for the loss of that baby. The weight of the mother's decision fell on my shoulders and wrenched my heart. But God used this story to show me the fragility of life and the choices we make. I have been put on this earth to simply be a messenger. To share the Hope, Love, and Salvation that God has give me. But often times, there are situations we cannot control. Ultimately, salvation is in God's hands. As I left this position, there were some changes in the organization that gave me such peace about God transitioning me out of that position.
Then, finals week of my first and last semester at DTS, I applied and received an interview with the Church of some great family friends. A church that is the daughter church of the one that I attended kindergarten through 6th grade before moving to Murrieta. Thinking there was no way I would be offered the position because the position was a Weekend Coordinator for Children's Ministry, I went in for an interview 3 days after driving back home from Texas. By the end of the week, God blew my mind as He gave me the position. By January, I was working for a Children's Ministry!!
Why did I go to China? The Lord changed me, grew me up, and gave me the incredible opportunity to spread my wings (as cliche as that sounds) as I loved my beautiful students, and as they loved me right back.
Why did I go to Dallas if I didn't stay to finish my degree? Because God had other reasons for me being in Dallas than for school. He moved my heart and changed in me my ability to relate and enjoy children. He knew He would bring me back to Southern California to work in a field regarding Children! He gave me the joy of sharing Scripture with hurting women, and praying over broken 16 year olds whose world's turned upside down at the appearance of a positive sign on a small pregnancy test.
And now, one year later, I am back home. I am enjoying moments with my family- I'm present for birthday celebrations, and holidays. I get to look forward to seeing my brother's final collegiate baseball season and support whatever next year holds for him! I get to wrestle with my baby nephew, and I'm being re-connected with many family friends I have missed the past few years. I get to meet and play with their kids and enjoy life on the west coast full of beautiful cliffs, waves and sunsets.
I'm thoroughly enjoying this journey God has me on. It's not nearly close to being finished, but in reflecting on all the past year has seen me through moving from Thailand, to China, to Texas, back to So. Cal, I can truthfully say the more life unfolds, the more I relinquish control. The older I get, the more peace invades my heart, because my experiences have taught me first hand about God and His character. For me, God is not just the head awareness of knowledge fed to me from Sunday school in Church my whole life. Rather, my relationship with God is directly the result of walking with him through some crazy experiences where He has personally shown me His character. He is a patient God bearing with me, He is a loving God, He is a faithful God, and a powerful God. My story is not full of ironies. It's full of God's grace and provision.
Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth"
My encouragement as we all age: rest in your eternal assurance through faith. God is in control. He will uphold you with His righteous right hand. He has a plan for you and it's good and full of Him. He loves you with an everlasting patient, enduring love. A love that when faced with the choice chose to stay, protect, and save by facing death on the cross, instead of selfish deliverance. Share your story with others- it could mean eternity.
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