Tonight, the tears come easily.
Since the moment I became a follower of Christ, I found my heart turned hyper sensitive. It's not something I necessarily wanted, but tenderness and responsiveness to the pains of this world were given. It's a gift I treasure, but a heartache I wish I could do without.
My heart feels like a thousand shards of glass splattered across the ground as I survey the different faces and stories behind their eyes. Pain is etched within the walls of everyone's hearts. Needs are unmet, love is wanted but left unfilled, and doubt crowds in loud, threatening death.
I sat at the dinner table with my parents and shared about the faces filling my heart with grief. Tears rolled steadily down, and my heart tightened as each face brought with it it's own sea of troubles.
I tell them even of my own darkness. I share how tonight as I drove home, the question burning my mind, "what is the point? God, why am I here?" Because if this was a place where you wrote about your journey, I'm sure you would have one sentence that matches my own. At one blip in the line of life, you've questioned for yourself. What is your purpose? Do you have purpose?
Why do we all ask this at one point or another?
Life is miserably hard. Sure this can be a cynical view; but I like to take creative approaches- this is a hopeful realistic perspective.
Why did I use the adjective hopeful to describe such a negative definition of life?
Because the beauty of asking questions like "God, what is the point anymore?" lies in your breaking point. \At the point when you can't walk forward one more step, you stop. You crumble to your knees, and muster in what feels as if the last breath you have to give, "why...."
When your spouse of over 30 years comes to you and says they don't love you anymore,
when your twenty year old daughter cripples you by taking her own life,
when you find yourself shamed by your sin when you promised never to let it go that far,
when your spouse of over 50 years gives you anxiety because of their disease that you must fearfully watch as it painstakingly kills,
when your sweet baby boy of 5 years of age is diagnosed with an untreatable cancer,
when you find yourself 40 years of age, single, yearning for what the world tells you you are missing, when your parent faces a pre-mature but all too real disease-ridden death sentence,
when all that's left is to fall to pieces because life shouldn't unfold the way it just did at your feet... this, THIS is when it is miserably hard.
THIS is what breaks my heart tonight.
These are real stories... real people I know. They have faces, and feelings. Their lives were hand-crafted by their Creator. And he KNOWS the pain they endure. He knows that above all else, we NEED love. We need to receive a love that is independent of who we are. The only kind of love that came and comes in the form of a baby boy born of a virgin.
A baby born in the lowliest place,
who was not the most physically attractive,
who caused dissension among religious parties,
who disrupted lives with a merciful healing touch,
who took 12 fishermen and turned them into faithful servants boldly proclaiming the Truth,
who chose to love a man despite knowing the ultimate betrayal that would take place,
who welcomed joyfully the little children unto him,
who made the lame walk, the blind see,
who ate with the tax collectors and touched the lepors,
who prayed and sweat blood,
who made the dead rise, and who called people by name,
who resisted temptations of the devil for 40 days and nights,
who rode in on a donkey allowing those he LOVED to mock him, spit on him, rip his flesh off, and accuse him despite his innocence, shoving a crown of thorns down upon his head, nailing him to a cross to crucify him for sins they did not know they committed.
Who loved the multitudes, but was rejected, despised, and unchosen by all.
Who gave his life for you. Not so that you may have good things in this life like health, relationships, love or full lives of pleasant memories.
But so that you may give your coat to those shivering in the cold,
that you may smile as you hand over your extra dollars to those without a day's meal,
so that you may forgive those that choose to walk away from a relationship with you,
so that you may pray for healing but trust in the final result,
that you may live out a life of faith that stares with strength into the face of death, suffering and pain.
Because it doesn't end there. It begins there!
The good thing comes when we make it to the beginning of life for that which we were created... eternity with a God who loves us independent of ourselves.
So the next time you face the onslaught of the emotional question, "what's the point?"
Remember whose you are, and remember the life of the baby boy that came and changed your world forever. He came to meet death, so that you might have life.
We all need and want love. Perhaps the answer lies in not finding love, but giving. Is there one life that you can influence today for eternity?
No comments:
Post a Comment