Love is Really what I left to Find

It has officially been 1 year since I found out I was accepted to come to China, and committed.

It has officially been 8 months since I left California in my rearview mirror.

It is officially 3 months left until I will set foot on Californian soil once again.

A line from Lady Antebellum's song "Home is where the heart is" is playing in my head right now...
 "It took leaving for me to understand, sometimes your dreams aren't what life has planned".

I think this line expresses what I see when I look back on the past year of my life, except I insert God for "life". Looking back, in college, I had dreams and plans for my ideal life post-graduation. Every version of the dreams/plans had two common themes in all of them: to marry my best friend and travel the world. Well, growing up with my parents' story, I always figured mine would be written in the same way... I mean isn't that how I've always been taught: go to school, get into college, have fun, meet your best friend, graduate, get married and live happily ever after? Well, as the line from the song above says, "often times it takes looking back to see how in the bigger picture of life, He had dreams and plans for you that far exceed your short-sighted dreams". I can testify, the Father has revealed His nature through giving me my wildest dreams! Let me give you a brief testimony of the Father's nature through fulfilling my dreams:

Senior year, I had a really hard & heartbreaking year. I told the Father what I wanted, He unfortunately (at the time) took it away. I applied and got accepted into ELIC for 11 months of service in China. Completely exhilarated by the "idea" of China, I had so many fears and reservations. However, through many one-on-one conversations with sisters, the Counselor revealed to me this honeymoon vision that He had. I wanted a best friend, soulmate, full of love kinda relationship and He told me,

"come away with me, come away with me and I will give you these desires of your heart, I know you far better than you know yourself, and I have a beautiful honeymoon planned for you and me!"

Captivated by the promise of love, I took the step and left for China. Because He had taken away, I was able to receive hands open what He had for me. I left my pains with yesterday and in the past 8 months He has completely worked through my heart healing it in ways I was unaware it needed, and loving me far better than any human relationship could. He promised me my dreams, and guess what?! He GAVE them to me! He gave them to ME! I wanted love, He has lavished that on me through my students. Every-time I walk into my classrooms, I am fully aware of His great love for me! I wanted a wild adventure of travel and fun..... and look at the places He has taken me! He brought me to CHINA!! He then gifted me with more travel throughout China and Southeast Asia! I have seen things I never imagined I would get the chance to see... for example: when I was like 8 years old, I told my grandpa I wanted to see the Great Wall of China after seeing Mulan. And my grandpa did what any loving one would and promised he would take me! Well, he fulfilled this promise by supporting me to come to China and walk along the top of the Great Wall. Did I ever think I would see the day when my childhood dream would come true?! NO!! haha  um do I serve an awesome Father or what?!

Also, I've always wanted a specific ministry calling for my life. A specific way in which my passions and gifts align in the form of ministry service. Well, in the past months, He has revealed a vision to me to serve women specifically. I have a dream of beginning a ministry specifically to unloved/unreached women. He told me their are women who He wants to redeem through me... He wants to use my eyes to look into theirs an tell them the first time that they will hear

"I LOVE YOU! Daughter, come to Me... for I LOVE YOU!"

With this dream, He's given me a desire to be educated in counseling in order to have the tools to pursue this ministry. And He's given me a passion for stories that speak love, specifically of His Love and I want to show His love through my words & writing.

These dreams He's placed on my heart this year, in His time will be fulfilled... because His nature is revealed in meeting our wants not our needs. (Prov 13:12). Just as in a relationship between Father and child, a child feels comfortable enough with her Father to dream in realistic-abandonment as she sits in His arms. The Father takes delight in these innocent and wild dreams of His baby. A child secure in a father's love dreams of being significant.  After the past 8 months, I find more love, peace and courage to be childish in this way in the presence of the Father. I have dreams. He has dreams for me. Together, as we co-labor, His will will be accomplished in and through me. And ultimately, His great nature will be revealed in His crazy plans for my life as they already have! [thoughts above from a sermon by Bill Johnson]

I have experienced, seen and changed more in the past 8 months than I ever dreamed of for my future post-graduation. And this is only the first year outside of college!! I can hardly contain my joy at what bigger pictures He has for me and the rest of my life!

Friends, Family, please be comfortable and confident enough in His presence, character & nature to speak of your wants & dreams to Him... then sit back in awe as He reveals Himself in laying them out in front of you! He loves you, so so much. Rejoice in this saving love today!