"All my Single Ladies"

Shauna Niequist is a fellow Westmont alum. While I was attending Westmont, she came and spoke at Chapel. For those who don't know her, she's an incredible writer. My attention was immediately grabbed that morning as she began. I will never forget one statement she made: "you are the only one living your story, write out your story because it's what you can share best".

Generally posting here, I share a lot of my heart. Not too often am I uncomfortable with what i share. But today's post is an encouragement from my own story, and it makes me slightly uncomfortable. Why share it then? Because I believe in the greater cause, that perhaps it would encourage 1 girl. And if it only encourages just 1 girl, it is worth sharing my heart. That one girl might begin to see herself more clearly in God's eyes. THAT is a greater victory. My hope: single girls would be encouraged to take up this season rejoicing in Who their Creator is and the REALITY that they HAVE been set apart. Embrace it ladies. Live in dignity, because you are a princess in your waiting season to become a Queen.

So in the words of my Queen B.. attention "all the single ladies (even those dating), put your hands up" and read on...

The Lord has done a magnificent work in my heart towards LOVING and desiring the idea of being a wife and mother someday. But, I'm not a mother and wife right now. Recently, I have had this discussion with so many women dating from ages 18-55, how do you walk through the dating/waiting season?

This is how I've chosen to walk it out:

I'm making a stand. I'm waiting. Taking the hardest route possible. I'm waiting for a man that will pursue me like a princess.. like the most valuable thing he's ever come in contact with; apart from the day He met Jesus. I will stand my ground even when the enemy tries to tell me I won't find that. That God can't do it and won't give me such a beautiful gift. But I trust in His ability and power more; to guide my path, the steps I take- He's in control. And I know He's in control of the man He has for me too. Why would I doubt He's big enough to cross those two paths? God is so much bigger and capable than we give him credit. I can't wait for it. But I'm learning to have patience, peace, endurance and faith in what lies ahead as I walk through this season. The greatest things worth having are the rare things that require the discipline to wait for them. Chikas, please, be disciplined in this. You will find a greater joy.

So what does it look like to "wait"? I'm learning this, and what I've seen God show me:

It means no chasing the guys. Yes we may have done it up and down the playground during the Kindergarten days, but think about the guy you want. You want a man who goes after what he wants- you want a leader! He can come to you.

It means choosing not to over analyze. Ladies, we are the worst at this- and let's be honest the guys can't even comprehend the half of what we end up analyzing. The guy you want, he will let you know if he cares, and he will let you know how much he cares. Have you seen the movie "He's Just Not that Into You"? A guy will go after what he wants, even if it's calling every girl in the phone book with your name until he gets the right one. And if he can't or doesn't, then there's no point wasting time hoping for him. He's not man enough to lead in pursuing you, he's not man enough to  care for your whole heart for your whole life.

It means that when you meet the right guy, the fruit will not be impatience, anxiety, doubt or confusion; but rather, peace will flood over you, and assurance will spring forth. The man you will be with will bring about good from you, not bad. If he pushes you toward Christ the way you hope and need, the result in your attitude and approach to your relationship will be the offspring of love: peace, patience, gentleness, kindness, no self-seeking, no boasting, and self-control. When the opposite of these is produced be wary... because that guy is not pushing you closer to Christ.

And that is what we need to be waiting for. Someone to have a covenant marriage relationship with- one that lasts all your days on earth. One that will be God glorifying first beginning by taking dating seriously, keeping standards high. Hold yourself to a high standard and ask him to step up to an equally high standard. When he walks in an admirable way in dating you, he will take precious the gift of leading you as the head of your family someday. A man who prizes that role, will do right by it. 

He may stumble, fall or grow weary (he's not superman despite what you might initially think ;) But as he proves prior to marriage, he will have the will and commitment to step up, endure, press in to Christ and draw both of you two to your knees. And as he does, Galatians 2:20 becomes evident producing fruit on the barren branches and ripening the fruit already in existence.

Marriage is a beautiful thing. The married couples I surround myself with give me such victorious examples of the joy and refining it brings about. I look forward to it. But I don't depend on it. Not now, not ever: if there's any important lesson to be learning in my waiting season, it's that my one and only Knight in shining armor capable of meeting any and every whimsical need or desire in my soul came years and years ago, and is coming once again. He knows who I am. He knows His bride. THAT is the only one I want to depend on. To spend my time pining for and inexhaustibly awaiting His glorious coming for me. He is my One and Only. My Savior. May no other thing or person take His throne in my life.

Ladies, my heart aches for you to recognize your identity, embrace it, and live it out in the way we approach relationships. It is hard to wait. It is discouraging at times. But, I have 100% faith that God uses it for our good, and eventually will blow your expectations out of the water with His plans for you. Confidence and faith in God as our Guide. We got this ladies ;)

"Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character, and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us"
Romans 5:3-5

"For I know the plans I have you declares the Lord, plans to prosper and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future" Jer. 29:11

Choosing to believe, we walk together toward Eternity.