promised.

i remember that day clearly.

i sat in church with my college group. the lights were down, the room stood dark. my knees were aching underneath me as i kneeled on the floor. i felt anonymous yet wholly known. the music filled my heart but it was more than the beat of the drum, and strum of the guitar. my heart lay in pieces but also held together in full, completeness. the spirit was with me.

tears streamed down my cheeks. i stopped wiping them away, and the carpet meeting my forehead grew wet. i lost count of how long i sat there, who did what around me. for a moment i felt and existed in eternity. i encountered the paradox between life here and life future-heaven. a sense of being lost sought to settle on my shoulders, but it was replaced with a confident, resounding purpose calling deep through my soul.

i was called. loved. created. purposed.

my heart had been broken moments before by one who shouldn't have been capable of causing a shattered understanding of identity. but the timing couldn't have been more perfect.

the spirit of the Lord met me. in my brokenness. i was met. then i was marked.

it was then and there my life changed. i became more uncertain and more sure at the same time. the spirit told me there that he was making something beautiful out of me. my story, written, each day lived, every breath used, would leave the most beautiful color in its wake.

sitting now in the monotony of life today, i question that day three years ago. but the questions fall short of doubt... for the calling was sure, the future lay waiting to unfold. 3 years since then and more of the story has been written. not the way i desired or anticipated. but written nonetheless.

heartbreaks. failures. insecurities. joys. new friends. old friends. laughter. tears.

the color is rich.

but the truth remains: the end is not here yet. words still require ink, pages ready to fill.

He isn't finished. and in the days of monotony, boredom, and frustration, as dreams seem evasive, adventure aloof, and heart heavy... i recall this profound promise and breath easier... He isn't done with me yet.