How do you love?

My emotions were rising. I so strongly felt the emotion of fear. Protection- I needed it.

Flee, distance yourself from them so that you may find comfort. Look, they’re hurting you. If you press in, they will only hurt you more. If you move away, the pain will lessen. They’re against you. Don’t trust them. Don’t make yourself vulnerable or give them room to potentially cause hurt to your heart. You’ve been hurt before. Others are not trustworthy, why would this be any different?

Have you ever heard these questions, doubts, or fears in your heart? Did they ask for room in your mind, to control your response in a difficult situation with anyone you deeply love? family? friends? 

I have.

“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8). As sons/daughters of God, we inherit an enemy. “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.” (John 10:10).

He wants to hurt us, prevent us from our Healer and Savior, and to cut off any relationships that mirror the Triune God. Any God-glorifying situation, relationship, thing, action, response will not be tolerated by our enemy. Family, friends... he has no boundaries. He will act with his limited but strong power to stop us dead in our tracks from accomplishing the purpose God has for us.

He’s not the victor.

God says, “I Am”.

The rest of John 10:10 finishes, “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly”. Jesus, sweet Jesus, how beautiful it is that you came for us. You save us, heal us, grant us victory, sustain us with power, and move among us. Thank you, my Jesus.

So we’re victorious! But do you feel victorious?

I don’t. Not always.

But, I’ve called upon Him. “Everyone who calls upon the name of the Lord will be saved” (Romans 10:13)

I’m beginning to walk in victory, not feel victorious. There’s a difference. Truth and feelings/emotions are not always synced. As I love deeper, stronger, with Christ’s love… I witness the difference. I see more clearly with wisdom when I respond based on my feelings versus from a stance of truth. So what is the difference between the two? Why is it important to recognize the difference?

Relationships with anyone we love experience mis-communications. This is normal. Recently, I've been asking God for a soft heart during the times I find my feelings overtaking what I know to be true. My emotions often times will be utilized by the enemy working overtime to convince me I’m the victim. All of the lies I wrote above will flood into my mind. The emotions distort truth and convince myself to believe the worst. If I truly desire to love another person with Christ’s love, I DO NOT want to respond with a hardened heart. I love them! Therefore, I need to be watchful of the enemy’s power to use my emotions against me. The easiest response in the face of mis-communication or conflict is distance. However, distance allows the enemy a foothold.

We convince ourselves it’s a protective mechanism- yet, it does the opposite. Reacting in our emotions can cause actual damage to any relationship. Recently, I have asked the Father to protect my relationships with others to be free of the enemy’s footholds’ (Ephesians 4:27). Committing to loving as Christ loves requires action on our part. Scripture is clear, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is- his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2). It’s important to renew our minds so that our feelings don’t limit the depth of Christ’s love through us.

As you love someone, dwell on this truth:

They are for you. You are for them.

They are on your team. You are on their team.

Trust God. Trust what they say. Believe the best.

Respond with a renewed mind, not an emotional hurt heart.

Cast the enemy out. Act on truth, you are a Victor.

Pray for the depth of love laid out in 1 Corinthians 13. The kind poured out on the cross.

And of course, equip yourself for battles against the enemy: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others; it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

The emotions of love are good and beautiful. But be on guard, love is a choice. A choice to renew the mind with truth- your foundation. It is a commitment. It is an action. It takes time. It always grows.

My prayer is for generations full of true love. Love that displays what was poured out on the Cross. Families to heal. Marriages to remain strong and selfless. Siblings to act with protection. Believers to claim victorious identity. Neighbors to meet real needs. Prayer to be constant. Relationships to bring out the best. And friendships to breed hope.

May love be a heart of worship within us flowing out.